Wednesday, March 27, 2013
We Deal in Dreams
To this day I don’t know what made it so real, but at the time it was more real than anything I had ever had. It wasn’t even passionate to the point of sex, at that point. It was merely me, walking through the living room door of a friend’s house, and she was sitting there on the couch. We talked, we grew close, and we hit off in a bond that was straight out of Hollywood. For all the crap that love at first sight is, in this fantasy construct of my mind it was real, and it was frightening. Only one detail revealed itself to me that night, the only detail of this woman I have ever had. Her name began with a K.
Tiffany did not last for a week after that first dream, and she was merely the first in a long line of failure that would plague my life from that point on. K would make many, many more appearances, however, as my safety net in troubled times. Her unpredictability was maddening. There were nights, such as the night of my high school graduation, when I was so distraught over saying goodbye to Tristan that I begged for her to visit me. Instead, the tangent that evening was about a boat. The night I lost my grandmother it was about me wandering the countryside with a monkey, a la Jay and Silent Bob. Even how to find cheap ambien online couldn't get me a good night's sleep. If you click here, you can try. http://buyingambienonline.com
But the dealer would continue to give me this woman, K, on a semi-regular basis. It was certainly nothing that I could set my watch to. She was my constant companion, dropping into my life to say hi and to ask how I was doing but never staying long enough to show she truly cared. I, however, became enraptured with her. There was even a time where I would do anything just to have her to myself, but I didn’t know what to do.